There is always Two Sides of the Story

Holden to me is a very common "person" but not teenager, he is very intelligent but he just doesn't see that. He is very mature for his age, he can take care of himself and tend to do it well. He's not scared to be alone and he isn't scared to break the rules, he is very bold. The reason why I say he is a common person is because he doesn't know what to feel or what to do in his life. Many people have trouble finding themselves, they go great lengths to try to find the,selves, but they end up finding themselves close to home. I feel like this is what Holden is experiencing but it's different, he isn't suppose to be trying to find himself at this age, he is to young, that's why I think he is having so much trouble. He has no one to help him so he is searching and experiments to find himself, but he doesn't realize that he already knows who he is. That's why he relates to this quote 'Better is one's own duty imperfectly carried out than following perfectly the law of another. Better is death in the fulfillment of one's own law,for to follow another's law is perilous.' I feel that this quote is saying its better to be yourself then conforming, and Holden is exactly this, he knows he is not like everyone else, so that's why he is having so much trouble finding out who he is. He I looking and will do nothing to jut get a hint on who he really is. That's why I think he cat stand being by other who are happy and they know who they are. It makes him depressed to see others that know who they are and what they are doing with their lives. He tries very crazy and bold things, that's why he can never sit still and he is looking at others to see if he sees himself in them. Maybe that's why he is always thinking about his sister and brother? If he is related to them, then why not try finding himself in them? One example he is trying to find himself is when he hired the prostitute, even though he said he hired who was because he wanted practice, but I thinks their is more. He is trying to feel older so he can find himself, he is trying to be less dependent and go on his own so no one will hold him back. One quote that I found I thought was very descriptive of Holden. “Most people don't know what they want or feel. And for everyone, myself included, It's very difficult to say what you mean when what you mean is painful. The most difficult thing in the world is to reveal yourself, to express what you have to... As an artist, I feel that we must try many things - but above all, we must dare to fail. You must have the courage to be bad - to be willing to risk everything to really express it all.” ― John Cassavetes I feel that this quote was meant for Holden, he doesn't know what he wants in life or what he wants to do with his life, but he is daring to risk it all searching. He is lost in words, he is trying to express himself but he tends to cover up what he wants to say with child like words. He doesn't like to reveal himself to other, I think he doesn't like to because he feels weak and vulnerable, he always feels like he need to be on guard 24-7. He feels this way because like I said before he is to mature for his age and he basically has to make adult like decisions. He tries many things to try to find himself, even if he knows he will fail, he is strong on the outside, but he is still a child on the inside. This combination can sometimes be dangerous.